So, loads of people were saying that yesterday was “Blue Monday” – when the credit card statements go out after Christmas, and the long trek through January starts to hit home. My views on this aside, I was lucky enough to work from home yesterday, as all my new bedroom furniture arrived, so that needed assembling and signing for.
Now, on Saturday, my doctor decided to up my dosage of Citalopram from 30mg to 40mg. Which was what I was on before, when I had my last bad patch. The only problem is that this time, it seems to have had a strange effect on me, and my body/brain seem to be fighting it, which is making me feel pretty bad. I’m sat in the office today after a pleasant but fitful night’s sleep, pretty much staring blankly at the screen. Admittedly, not having contact lenses in today doesn’t help at all, but then I get the feeling that I’d be feeling like this anyway.
I seem to have very little patience for morons at the moment as well. Which, when you’re an IT guy, isn’t great… not saying that all my users are morons by far, but the few seem to take up most of my time unfortunately. I don’t seem to have much/any project work to do either at the moment, which is unusual. I seem to do so much better when I can immerse myself in something, and just plough through it all. It’s always a good sign when you look at the clock and are shocked how late it is!
The other thing with my higher dose is that I feel like I’m working through a fog at the moment. My brain just feels like when you drop a dissolving tablet into a glass of water, and it’s all murky and translucent, when I can’t seem to make it go clear, try as I might. Maybe the quantity of coffee I’m drinking today won’t be helping, but it’s either that or fall asleep at my borrowed desk.
I won’t lie – today’s a struggle. I want to go home, I want to go get back into my new bed, and I want to sleep away at least the rest of today. My anxiety’s threatening to come out of it’s box as well, when I really don’t know what I’ll do. Unfortunately, I’m in Manchester today, so it’s around 2hrs to get home anyway…
Lunchtime now. Let’s see what I can get to eat…