So, just to pre-warn you, there’s going to be very bad language in this, and maybe some triggers…
So today, I was discharged from IAPT.
After speaking to them for my follow up appointment this afternoon, we agreed that 1-1 CBT wasn’t really going to do much good, when I can’t actually make sense or pinpoint a thought to challenge, so counselling is going to be a much better idea.
…apart from the IAPT service in Harrogate don’t offer counselling.
So instead, I now have been given the details of a charity who offer therapy on a voluntary contribution basis. Which I don’t get referred to, I speak to them as any other average Joe off the street. No history, nothing. Oh, and discharged from the IAPT service.
I feel so completely and utterly palmed off, that I just don’t see what the point is any more. I mean, what happens if the charity decide that I don’t qualify for their service? Or they’re fully loaded and can’t take any new clients?
Seriously – when you pluck up the courage to say no, that’s not helpful, or even just ask for help, why do I now get palmed off? What do I have to do to get some help that’s actually useful?
I honestly feel like no-one wants me as their problem. And gotta be honest, that makes me feel like why should I bother.
My plan of action is now to disappear for 4 days – as I’m going on a yoga and meditation retreat on Holy Island, where there’s no phone signal. Hopefully by the time I get back, maybe I’ll have magically fucking cured myself.
Still off any of my meds, so that really doesn’t help. Back at the doctor in a week and a half… and fucking counting.
Peace and love to you all,