Travel and Tourism

Hey all,

So today’s been really really tough. I didn’t sleep much again, and I said to my friend that I’d go see her in Sheffield. No problem, something I’ve done loads of times before. Apart from for some reason, my head decided today to make it a problem.

Brain for sale, 1 previous owner, offers accepted. Sold as seen due to damage Continue reading “Travel and Tourism”

A “Comedy” of Errors

So today has been a clusterfuck of problems. In fact, I just wrote problems, and manage to spell it wrong first time, after I came back and checked it!

So first thing this morning, something had sent the payroll team a dodgy email, which meant it went into quarantine, and they got sent an email from helpdesk, saying this. Apart from the payroll mailbox has an autoreply on, so it replied to the helpdesk. Which opened a ticket, and sent the payroll team an email saying it had opened a ticket… which then sent helpdesk an email… well you get the idea. Continue reading “A “Comedy” of Errors”

Update on me.

So, I went to the doctors yesterday, and I’m now starting Venalfaxine (I think I spelt that right…!) – we’re starting to get into the complicated spelling ones now, so I’m guessing this is where it gets serious haha.

Thankfully, my doctor has also started prescribing me some painkillers as well to manage my muscle pain, so I might even be able to go back to the gym!

Continue reading “Update on me.”

Strength.

So, I’ve finally worked up the strength to write another blog post.
I’m sorry I’ve not been updating this with my journey lately, but I’ve just not had the strength of will. Or mind. Or body. Or well, anything quite frankly.

I’d like to make a public thanks to Temazepam for letting me sleep, and feel human for around 10 minutes a day. Continue reading “Strength.”

Fed up.

Hey guys,

So, just to pre-warn you, there’s going to be very bad language in this, and maybe some triggers…

So today, I was discharged from IAPT.

After speaking to them for my follow up appointment this afternoon, we agreed that 1-1 CBT wasn’t really going to do much good, when I can’t actually make sense or pinpoint a thought to challenge, so counselling is going to be a much better idea.

…apart from the IAPT service in Harrogate don’t offer counselling.

So instead, I now have been given the details of a charity who offer therapy on a voluntary contribution basis. Which I don’t get referred to, I speak to them as any other average Joe off the street. No history, nothing. Oh, and discharged from the IAPT service.

I feel so completely and utterly palmed off, that I just don’t see what the point is any more. I mean, what happens if the charity decide that I don’t qualify for their service? Or they’re fully loaded and can’t take any new clients?

Seriously – when you pluck up the courage to say no, that’s not helpful, or even just ask for help, why do I now get palmed off? What do I have to do to get some help that’s actually useful?

I honestly feel like no-one wants me as their problem. And gotta be honest, that makes me feel like why should I bother.

My plan of action is now to disappear for 4 days – as I’m going on a yoga and meditation retreat on Holy Island, where there’s no phone signal. Hopefully by the time I get back, maybe I’ll have magically fucking cured myself.

Still off any of my meds, so that really doesn’t help. Back at the doctor in a week and a half… and fucking counting.

Peace and love to you all,

GM