Content warning – Please read.


Thanks for visiting – it means a lot that you’d take the time to read about my battle with mental health.

Please be aware that posts on this blog will contain frequent references to self-harm, suicide and abusive relationships.

Please take care if you’re sensitive to those themes – the last thing I want is to upset anyone!

If you need urgent help/you are in crisis, click here. Let’s get you some help now.

Today, I don’t feel like doing anything

I just wanna lay in my bed
Don’t feel like picking up the phone
So leave a message at the tone
[Bruno Mars – The Lazy Song]

Whilst the upbeat note of this song doesn’t exactly encompass how I’m feeling, it really does encompass my mood with the lyrics! Because today is one of those days where I just want to hide away from everything.  Continue reading “Today, I don’t feel like doing anything”

If Crazy Equals Genius…

Then I’m a fucking arsonist / I’m a rocket scientist
Panic! At the Disco – Crazy=Genius

So today, I went to see a psychologist at the CMHT, which I thought was going to be a real step forward, and actually get some wheels put back into motion after my treasure of a CPN left, and I got the letter to say that I’m not getting a new one… (incidentally, still not heard from the manager that’s supposed to be getting in touch, but anyway…)  Continue reading “If Crazy Equals Genius…”

Then I’ll do my very best to fake it…

(Title: Bastille – Fake It)

Isn’t it strange, how you really can’t tell how someone’s feeling just by looking at them, or even just by superficially talking to them? We can only ever know as much as that person wants us to know.

It’s quite a common thought that people with anxiety and depression really do make the best actors, because they practice every single day. Continue reading “Then I’ll do my very best to fake it…”

Won’t you lay your healing hands on my chest? Let your ritual clean.

(Title: Bastille – Send Them Off!)

Well guys, I have to admit, it’s been an incredibly busy month, where an awful lot has happened! However, I have to say, the feeling of being sat back in Hoxton North with a cup of coffee (albeit I’ve just finished it…), the gentle burble of other people in the venue, music, and slightly distant passing of cars, is just sublime. This truly is my happy place, my favourite place to be, the one place I can count on to be super awesome.  Continue reading “Won’t you lay your healing hands on my chest? Let your ritual clean.”